Relationships are tough. And let's face it, college doesn't make 'em any easier. Throwing together the stress of class, work, money, friends, roommates, and college in general with the inevitable stressors of trying to date or maintain a committed relationship... it's overwhelming for many of us students. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and decided to put together a post of ways to change your relationship outlook this year...
and ways I can change mine. This post doesn't divulge the secrets of getting a boyfriend; it's not going to improve your datability. There are no magic keys. Just a few little changes to make, whether you're in a relationship or not, when it comes to what you value.
and ways I can change mine. This post doesn't divulge the secrets of getting a boyfriend; it's not going to improve your datability. There are no magic keys. Just a few little changes to make, whether you're in a relationship or not, when it comes to what you value.
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| Less dance-floor-makeout-sessions. ^Really? |
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| More stolen kisses that make you swoon. |
More Coffeeshops, Less Dance Clubs
Ladies, as flattering as it may be when a guy buys you a drink at a a grimy bar on a Saturday night... wouldn't it be 100x better if a guy offered to buy you a latte at a cozy coffee house any night of the week? Instead of relying on alcohol to loosen your inhibitions, learn to loosen up yourself. Open up, make yourself vulnerable. Chatting with a cutie over coffee is far more conducive to building a connection than, say... slurring your words with a guy that appears to be a hottie through your rose-tinted beer goggles.
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| Precious? Yes. But it'd be sweeter in person, am I right? |
Less Technology, More Connection
Wait, isn't technology supposed to improve connections? Being in instant contact with person, being able to hear their voice whenever you want, texting, instant messaging, stalking on Facebook and Twiter... oh, the possibilities are endless. But in your relationship, take a moment to unplug. Get a little old-fashioned. Make it a rule that when you're on a date with your man, both of you turn off your phones and put them away. Write an actual note or letter once in a while instead of a Facebook message. And have important conversations face-to-face. Texting and im'ing does not convey the appropriate messages hidden in tone-of-voice and facial expressions---how many times have simple communications led to a squabble because of a misinterpreted text? At least pick up the phone. But preferably wait until you can get together in person. Fighting in person is still better than fighting via emoticons and acronyms.
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| Let's see more of this.^ |
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| And nooo more of this!! |
More Class, Less Pop-Culture
One thing I'd really like to see this year... more ladies and less Snooki's. Class it up a little, girls. Don't dress scandalously and act outrageously just because MTV tells you its ok. Place a high value on yourself and hold yourself to a high standard. Be ladylike, be polite, be kindhearted, and be classy. Carry yourselves with poise. When in doubt, reach for the dress instead of th sweatpants. Go for creativity and intelligence before promiscuity. Do not let anyone but yourself decide how much you're worth.
Less Rush, More Leisure
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| Stop and smell the roses together. |
Modern life is so fast-paced. It's easy to get caught up running from one thing to another. It's tempting to rush into things for instant satisfaction. It's easy to move on from one thing to the next. And it's far too easy for your relationship to get left behind in the dust. So slow down. Whether it's emotional or physical, take your time. Cut back on all the plans you try to squeeze into one night so that you can really enjoy the plans you want to carry most. Take the time to really sit down and chat over a meal, be it in a restaurant or better yet... cooking something together. Even cooking up mac-and-cheese together and catching up on each other's lives is better than going to the McD's drive-thru and exchanging words between bites of cheeseburger. Take a breather, take a break.
More Quality, Less Quantity
This revolution, I feel, is the most important. If you take anything away from this post, if you attempt to incorporate one of these revolutions into your 2012 relationship experiences... let it be this one. Our society is trained to over-indulge. But too much of a good thing, really is a bad thing. Too much texting, too much checking up on each other, too much seeing each other, too much talking to each other... it can all have a detrimental effect on your relationship. So play it safe by placing significance on value. Isn't spending a really wonderful evening with your honey better than a whole week of meaningless encounters? Absence can make the heart fonder. So maintain your independence, your identity, and your life. Focus on making good memories rather than lots of memories.
I hope that I can focus on these as my relationship goes into the new year. I hope that maybe one or two of them helped you out as well!
Have an entirely different resolution for your love life? Leave it in a comment! I'd love to hear!
