Ladies, we're living in the age of powerful women. In the grand, historical scheme of things... it really wasn't that long ago that women were fighting for their right to vote. Today, females match and even surpass their male counterparts. Whether you're studying in college, hunting for a post-grad job, or climbing the "corporate ladder," you're part of one of the first generations (if not the first) that truly praises motivation, ambition, and intelligence in women.
We don't face some the same kind of stereotypes that our great-grandmothers, grandmas, or even mothers did. In general, we will graduate from high school, earn our degree, and enter the job force believing just as much as men do that the sky's the limit.
We don't face some the same kind of stereotypes that our great-grandmothers, grandmas, or even mothers did. In general, we will graduate from high school, earn our degree, and enter the job force believing just as much as men do that the sky's the limit.
But of course this throws off the whole dynamic that the American Dream and history in general have built families and traditions upon. It's becoming increasingly popular for a woman to become the main breadwinner in her family---or for men to take on roles as "stay at home dads."
What piqued my interest on this subject was Bloomberg Businessweek's story Behind Every Great Women by Carolyn Hymowitz. I really hope you check out the full article on Businessweek's website, but I just wanted to share some of the major points and questions raised by Hymowitz.
"This role reversal is occurring more and more as women edge past men at work. Women now fill a majority of jobs in the U.S., including 51.4 percent of managerial and professional positions, according to U.S. Census Bureau data. Some 23 percent of wives now out-earn their husbands, according to a 2010 study by the Pew Research Center. And this earnings trend is more dramatic among younger people. Women 30 and under make more money, on average, than their male counterparts in all but three of the largest cities in the U.S."
"...bookstore shelves and e-book catalogs are jammed with self-help books for ambitious women, of which I’d Rather Be in Charge, by former Ogilvy-Mather Worldwide CEO Charlotte Beers, is merely the latest. Some, such as Hirshman’s top-selling Get to Work, recommend that women “marry down”—find husbands who won’t mind staying at home—or wed older men who are ready to retire as their careers take off. What’s indisputable is that couples increasingly are negotiating whose career will take precedence before they start a family."
In New York Magazine's story Alpha Women, Beta Men, Ralph Gardner Jr. brings his perspective to the table as well. You can read the full article here on the NY Magazine website, but here's what I wanted to highlight:
"From Buffy the Vampire Slayer to Alias to Kill Bill, the culture has for some time been awash in fantasies of powerful women. Fetching as these female superheroes may be—and however potent at the box office and in the Nielsens—are these really the same chicks the average, or even above-average, guy wants to curl up next to in bed in real life? Perhaps not. As the wives grow more powerful and confident, their husbands often seem to diminish in direct proportion to their success.""Indeed, there’s little evidence to show that as women acquire financial muscle, relations between the sexes have evolved successfully to accommodate the new balance of power. Neither the newly liberated alpha women nor their shell-shocked beta spouses seem comfortable with the role reversal."
Now, I want to hear from you ladies on the brink of graduating college or newly thrown out into the work world. How do you feel about the reversal of roles when it comes to providing financially for a family? Does occupation and salary mean much to you when thinking about the qualities you desire in a future husband? Are you so determined to become financially independent that you don't care? Or is marriage and a family the absolute last thing on your mind right now?
I suppose I should weigh in with my stance, but honestly I'm not sure where I stand. Sometimes I'm torn. I desire a professional career, financial independence, and success. While marriage is neither the first or last thing on my mind, I hope for it at some point... and then eventually a family life down the line. I've witnessed professional women balancing careers with husbands and families---and it impressed, fascinated, and honestly amazed me at how they manage to do it. More than ever, it leaves me wondering what I want. I've always imagined my future husband working an awesome job he loved, too... but the reality of such situations are highlighted in those two articles (among many others).
Maybe my reaction is a little vague. I sound a little uncertain and confused and indecisive. But I'm getting the feeling that I'm not alone. In my future, I want the job, the husband, and eventually the kids. I want to be the successful professional, amazing wife, and wonderful mom... but with all those roles would I be spreading myself too thin? Is that having my cake and eating it, too? For now, I'm just going with the flow and hoping things fall into place... or that I can at least move them into place in the future.
What are your ideas on this? Would you feel guilty or even weird about being the main breadwinner of your future family if it happened to work out that way? What if you were the professional and your guy was a stay-at-home dad? What do you prefer?
Picture the 1950s and 1960s---the June Cleaver types. Are future generations (and ours) going to be a polar opposite? Or will society find a balance?
